Dont Press Start!

Black Geek Chronicles: "Pokemon Ain't Gangsta"

2011-07-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

You know, stereotypes aren’t nearly as bad as people make them out to be...
Blondes are ditsy
Americans are ignorant
The Irish are drunkards
And black guys shoot people.

Now....

When a person finds themselves subject to stereotyping I find that they only really have 2 options available to them:

1.Embrace them. Play up to the stereotype in an attempt to garner the positive traits associated with that image.

OR...

2.Steer against them. Attempt to actively go against the pre existing expectations of your Character. “Wear” the unexpected,” say” the unexpected and “like” the un expected
Now regardless of which of these two options you take, your actions are still very much effected by the stereotype itself.

WELCOME TO THE MY WORLD BITCHES!

The internal struggle between being myself (or “keeping it real” as my people like to say) and NOT coming across as a cliché.

I love Video games...

I also love hardcore underground rap...

Now....

I would like you all to draw a circle in your mind consisting of people you know that listen to hardcore underground rap...

Then I'd like you to create a separate circle of those who avidly play video games (Note: Dr Dre, Snoop doog, Eminem or other 90’s Rap acts don’t count. They must be followers of the modern scene...)

If my calculations are correct (which they seldom are) the two circles are probably about as far apart as the Mandela Peace prize and The Former Italian leader Benito Mussolini...

That said, some of you might still have a person or two which you believe fits into both circles so, let’s further expand the search by adding the following criteria...

How many of those people ALSO like Anime (Japanese animation)

AND

NBA basketball / Basketball Culture

Now at this point I feel confident in saying that the search pool has officially come up blank.
There’s me...and some of you may have a few other friends, however I very much doubt that the number for any of you goes beyond 5...

My point, or rather my question is this:

What do you do when your two main cultural identities are culturally incompatible?

Goths tend to hang out with other Goths
Chavs Hang with fellow Chavs...
black dudes stick with black dudes
Asians with Asians...

Even people who HATE the mainstream social groups tend to form their own “Outcast, Counter-culture” (Which ironically becomes a culture in of itself, complete with certain accepted likes, dislikes, music tastes and gathering venues)

Truth is it would be much EASIER to simply conform to one Social stereotype as opposed to be half a member of two.

The word “conform” comes with a negative Connotation, but, If i COULD somehow fit neatly into 1, I'd do it.
It would surely help eliviate the anxiety you (and by you I mean “I”) often get of not REALLY fitting in to your current social group...

My black friends are all good to play ball with but...Generally no good at helping me work out which of my level 100 pokemon to have lead my party against a “Rain dance” team (Don’t worry if that that sentence didn’t make sense to you...just means you have a life)

In the meantime. My geek friends are great when I want to talk about why Final fantasy 10 had the greatest story in a final fantasy game but not so great when there’s a girl at the bar and I need a confident wing man to step up and whisk away her fat friend...

The life of a black geek...what can ya do.

1.

Sex sells-Nintendo just got the memo.

2011-03-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

With the Nintendo 3DS set to be released worldwide this Friday. Nintendo fanboys across the world prepare to reach deep into their pockets to throw even more Pounds, Dollars, Yen, Rupees and Monopoly bucks at Mario and his beloved entourage of mascots once again.

Now I could sit here and go through the launch line up, or perhaps comment on the high price point (£230...ouch) or the revolutionary 3D technology itself, however there are plenty of other sites to hear about that stuff in detail.
No, what interests me is more the ridiculous promotional campaign that took place in aid of Nintendo’s new wonder brick. Just take a look at this.

Now, I’m all for getting journalists excited about your product, but sending an entire harem of statuesque beauties to showcase your latest product seems a little...off.
Not that I have ever been opposed to the shameless objectifying of women in the past , however, seeing it done on the corporate level does bring up some interesting questions. Is this kind of P.R acceptable? I mean even if we over look the whole shameless objectification angle. Is pandering to whims of the press in such a low brow manner really necessary. I mean, I am blogging about it now so perhaps Ninendo’s tactic worked!

Regardless, the next few months are going to be a BIG deal for Nintendo, let’s see if they can keep up their seemingly unstoppable marketing momentum
P.S (Super Street fighter 4 on the 3DS= Awesome...this is not opinion, this is FACT).

Forget sex, Violence sells...

2011-02-08T04:53:00.000-08:00

...Or so would seem to be the case in our beloved Video games industry.

“Fight Night Champion” EA sport’s latest game in the ever popular fight night boxing series is set to be the first fight night game rated M for mature By the ESRB regulatory body (which basically means the game will probably be classified as “18” over here in the U.K.)

Now admittedly, a sport which primarily revolves around “Punching dudes in the face” is of course going to be a violent one, however they don’t call it the “sweet science” for nothing.

The fight night series has for a long time been admired by the industry as the truest representation of Boxing outside of actually stepping in the ring yourself.
The games have always placed a heavy emphasis on technique, punishing those attempting to blindly attack without thought or patience.
However, despite the use of skill, EA is determined to tout the games new “dynamic blood” and “realistic body damage” as the game’s true selling point.

“Experience the violence and brutality that is true to the trade”.

These things might genuinely be impressive but as you read the press release which makes no real mention of the core gameplay innovations or the new inclusion of gripping a story mode you have to ask yourself “Is this what people want?” Is excessive blood and severe facial deformation the key to increased sales? Only the final sales numbers can really say, but with the Runaway success of THQ’s “UFC Undisputed” fighting game series which has managed to sell over 3 million units over the 2 years that the franchise has been in existence, perhaps it’s no wonder why EA would decide to change tactics and appeal to the blood lust in the modern gamer.

Let’s just hope the final product knows how to pack an impressive punch in the marketplace
(see what I did there?)

Merlin (BBC) A.K.A how NOT to write a screenplay for British television!

2010-09-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

BBC Drama Merlin is Unbelievably bad and i'm about to use all my writing and storytelling knowledge to explain why.

You see The shows writers seem to have forgotten every basic rule of storytelling. in fact the only bit they got right was the fact that there has to be a beginning a middle and an end.

Lets start with Rule #102- Protagonist Vs Antagonist

see with a story that revolves around conflicting characters with opposing motives it's essential to establish 3 things:

1. a positive emotional connection with the protagonist (hero) and His goal
2. a Negative emotional connection with the antagonist (villain) and His goal
3. a sense of tension between the two goals and a feeling of uncertainty about how it's all going to end.

Drama comes from wanting our hero to succeed and WORRYING about weather or not he will. I highlight the word worrying because thats what drama is.
If we don't care about our hero then we don't worry and you have no drama. If we don't see the villain as a real threat then we don't worry and you have no drama.
If it really doesn't matter WHICH side wins then we don't worry and guess what...YOU HAVE NO DRAMA.

Merlin Fails right off the bat because the hero's are either absolute Dicks or ineffectual cry babies.

Let's start with merlin. He's a guy who mas magical powers (yay!) but isn't allowed to use them otherwise he'd be executed by his king and treated like a monster....(booo!)
Now although it's obvious that this is just a way to limit the amount of time merlin uses his magical abilities (in order to keep the shows budget down and explain why he doesn't just do everything by magic) it creates some major contradictions in logic and common sense.
so lets break this stupidity down for just a second.

One of the major plot points of Merlin is his internal struggle with being what he is (a mage, and a talented one at that) and having to live the humble life of a mere servant. this is one of the forms of TENSION thats trying to be established.
But here's the thing.

WHY BE THEIR SERVANT!

(now you have to stop and think about this....) the entire series revolves around him BUSTING HIS ASS in order to save Camelot and it's douchbag prince (i'll get to him later) but WHY. why does this young and talented man serve a kingdom that HATES HIM AND HIS KIND?

I mean Imagine if you were a young jewish boy around the age of 21-24 Just before the Nazi occupation of France I'm pretty sure that with the gates still WIDE OPEN for you to leave at anytime...you'd MOVE YOUR ASS!! even if you had friends, family, a good job etc it simply wouldn't be worth the risk! you certainly wouldn't spend your entire life trying to actively HELP the Nazis or protect Hitler from assassination attempts.

what's more, merlin shows UNWAVERING loyalty to this nation as though he somehow owes them his life. He's witnessed his king hunt and slaughter countless innocent mages time and time again and yet still spends every episode trying to save both the king and his son...but WHY!?
See the problem is his motivation makes no sense! as an audience we need to want to root for a hero to succeed, but although he's ultimately saving lives, the lives he's saving aren't exactly worth it!

the writers failed part 3. they haven't made the hero's goal worth worrying about. we might worry about HIM but not what he's trying to protect. Everyone else in that kingdom can go to hell for all I care! It's not as though the world would be a terrible place with out this king. In fact after the initial discomfort, it might actually be BETTER for young merlin. he could live freely and not under the fear of persecution.

Next is the surrounding cast of characters and how they all fail to serve their place in the plot.

Let's start with Prince Arthur. Now you would think with such a tyrannical king the writers would make prince Arthur a more likable character. perhaps someone who, despite his youth, possessed patience, tolerance, intelligence and wisdom beyond his years. someone who you feel will one day grow into a great king who will learn from the mistakes of his farther and not repeat them....WRONG!

What we are given instead is an arrogant and spoiled brat who not only was born with a silver spoon in his mouth but also with a silver stick wedged firmly up his Rump!
He and Merlin have a master-servant relationship. and although merlin has saved Arthur's life on multiple occasions (More times than Arthur has realized) he still treats Merlin like common trash.
The writers occasionally try to fix this by making arther do what writters call 'petting the dog' which is a moment were a charecter does something supposedly sweet or heartwarming to show the audience he's not a complete asshole.

However!

Arther does this so rarely that he might as well not do it at all. for every heart felt compliment and heartwarming moment their are 5 derogatory remarks about Merlin's status as servant, teasing about Merlin's lack of physique or just general emotional scapegoating.
The only redeeming qualities that have been given to Arther are the fact that he's a brilliant swords man and that he's less of a prick than his farther.

HOWEVER

despite his brilliance with a blade, Merlin is forced to save his life AT LEAST twice an episode making Arthur come across as somewhat incompetent in his own right!
all in all this gives Merlin even LESS reason to care about this kingdom and it's rulers!
Despite the lack of affection we SEE between these two character Merlin still speaks and behaves as though they are close friends. (much to my annoyance)

Next you have the villians....who are ironically both more intresting and likeable than our supposed good guys.

See for villians we have these witches....two HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMEN
I point out the fact that they are both highly attractive young women because it highlights yet another stupid factor in the making of this show but we'll get to that later.

These HOT WITCHES wish to bring camlot to it's knees....and im guessing that we the audience are supposed to NOT want that to happen.

HOWEVER!

Considering the fact that these two women are magic users and have been declared enemies of camalot by it's king. You cant really blame them for wanting to take down the sucker!
In fact THEIR motives are the only ones that are both believable and make logical sense. add to that the fact that they are ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMEN and all of a sudden I'm rooting for them to win!
not only has the show failed to make the audience truly care about it's heroes but they've also made the villain more justified in their actions than the main protagonist!

Id probably LOVE this show if it was written from the witches point of view. secretly I want Merlin to have a moment of realization and turn to the dark side. however this entire story is written as though we're supporting camalot....it assumes we like Arthur and Merlin although it has given us no actual reason to.
and when Merlin eventually defeats this seasons villains I'm sure I'm gonna feel disappointed because his life isn't going to get any better....he's running in a hamster wheel and it quickly stops being interesting to watch.

My final problem with merlin is the Sex-lessness of the world they live in. now when you're making a show for young adults and younger. you kind of need to introduce elements and themes that young people can relate to. and were as themes such as racism, sexuality, religion and so on can create great emotional tension, they're hard to sustain over an entire series. one of the simplest ways to increase emotional involvement with characters is a sexual tension subplot. a 'will they wont they' proposition.

Merlin attempt to do this (and fails) with prince Arthur and Guinevere (a mere chamber maid)
the imidiate implications of such a romance creates instant drama...you would think.
after all A prince couldnt possibly love a mere chamber maid let alone MARRY her, the farther would never accept it, the kingdom would never allow it.
the romance instantly has an obstacle and as such creates drama right??

WRONG!

See this doesn't work for 2 reasons

1 the prince is a DICK! so we don't really want to see him get the girl unless he REALLY earns it

2. Guenivere is somewhat unremarkable as a character. she's not all that funny, or intelligent, she doesn't possess any remarkable traits other than the fact she's physically attractive.

these two factors combined mean that this relationship packs very little real tension. these aren't two "star crossed lovers tied by fate" this a Dick and a chambermaid.

Annoyingly in season 1, the writers actually teased at a genuinely interesting romance between Guinevere and Merlin....He was shy and new to the area, she was somewhat bashful too but clearly attracted to him. their romance had no real obstacle other than their own nerves (a position we can all relate to) but we liked merlin enough to want him to succeed regardless.

Then enters Prince arrogant who began HIS love subplot with Guinevere which i initially thought was BRILLIANT!!!
here we'd have shy merlin have to COMPETE with a powerful prince for the affection of Guinevere. now THAT would have been tension!

watching a young man try to win her heart while fighting his own insecurities about his technically superior rival.
it could have been perfect! would have created more 'worrying' for young merlin and used Arthur's dickishness to the plots advantage.

Instead they just made merlin kind of move out of the way while Arthur simply got the girl...>.<

The story of merlin has a lot of potential...but with poorly planned characters, contradictory motivations and a general mis calculating of peoples emotions it's no wonder the show has wavering ratings!

DEATH CANT GET ME!...well it can but i'll just come back again from the last save point so I'm not too worried...

2010-09-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Ok So I need you to stop and really think about this one cause it’s kind of a big deal. Not to mention a long rant so stick with it…

So we all know of the concept of ‘death’ in video games correct? I.E your walking around with your assault rifle, looking all bad ass. If your health bar drops to zero or reaches Zero HP then BOOM you lose and now you’re singing soprano in the choir of angels right next to Moses and the others.
But let’s break down this concept into two separate factors…

On one side we have the story implications of ‘death’ in video games. I.E if you fight this boss and lose, that boss KILLS our hero and thus the quest comes to an end (Sad Face, violin music etc etc) Now this is the problem with video games stories that I’m actually writing about but before any of this can make sense we need to look at the MECHANICAL implications of death.

You see ‘Death’ provides the gamer with tension, without it the player simply wouldn’t be bothered by what’s happening on screen. You’d just take your time; walk from A to B, not even bother with taking cover because you can’t lose! Eventually you’d reach the next level. Needless to say that would SUCK, you wouldn’t be worried or be forced to use any skill. The game would get real boring real fast.
As a result ‘Death’ keeps you on your toes and keeps you moving.

Now that we understand the nuts and bolts of this concept let me finally get to my point…
NO ONE IS SCARED OF DEATH ANYMORE!
I’m coming at this as a story writer who’s played countless RPG’s, FPS’S, Adventure titles and so on. I’ve saved more villages than the Red Cross, Oxfam and The comic relief foundation put together and to be honest, despite my ‘heroic deeds’ I’ve reached the point were I feel no tension about my characters mortality.

So let’s say I’m playing a game and I now have to fight this tremendous FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. I’ve been given my sword and a bunch of spells to use….
now as a gamer the only thing I’m ‘worried’ about is beating this dragon WITHOUT it beating me right?

HOWEVER!!

Even if it DOES beat me, Even if this dragon Goes all ‘George Forman’ on me and grills me into a charcoaled pile of dust. This game is only going to reset me to the beginning of this fight. Sure it might be frustrating and it might mean having to re-do a large section of the game BUT it still makes the ‘story’ implications of death feel somewhat trivial. From a story stand point this dragon is already dead because the story can’t continue in any other way. Either this dragon dies or *blank*.
The very concept of death for your main character kind of becomes a non issue because in essence your characters CAN NOT possibly fail; there is no other outcome but success!

Now the Savvy amongst you are probably thinking ‘But Chad, Of course they let you retry, you cant have your main character just die half way through a game, otherwise the story would just stop.’
And I agree.
From a STORY prospective, if your main character dies then that’s pretty much goodnight.
But you must understand that ‘Death’ from a mechanical stand point is just a ‘price for failure’ and one that games have been using for years now.
However there are many things OTHER than death that could act as a way of creating tension. Things that can impact the game and the player more dynamically.

Let’s return to our hypothetical village.
You and your mighty Band of heroes have managed to get its health down low but your team is low on health too…
Suddenly the dragon uses a new attack that you weren’t expecting!

Your team is wiped out, you see a small cut scene of your character blacking out…
(Blank screen)

All of a sudden, you’re eyes spring open….to reveal your in a strange room but hey YOUR ALIVE!!
You look over to find the rest of your party are also alive!

But what about the village? What happened to little Hillershire??
IT’S RUINED THAT’S WHAT!!
YOU FAILED!
That Village is GONE!
Remember that cute lil girl who gave you a flower because you promised to save her village? SHE’S DRAGON FOOD NOW!
Remember that Hot Inn Keeper who you thought might have a crush on you? ROAD KILL!

All the weapons you could have bought from them GONE!
All the additional side quests GONE!
The reward money? UP IN SMOKE!

See the story will continue but by god will you pay for it!

See when you present a game that makes you LIVE with your failure instead of just letting you retry, all of a sudden you become desperate not to fail…it becomes even more tense because the game will LET you fail. You could make it even MORE tense if you make it so the player CANT retry (at least not until he’s completed the game once through)

All of a sudden every option, every decision and every major fight becomes a big deal.
And as for the little encounters? You can keep those the same. Make sure their easy so that failure isn’t really likely (which is the way it is now against many ‘random encounters’) and have it so that if you somehow DO lose, you’re revived by a passer by or by some other divine force. In other words keep the present system of simply setting the player back but DON’T use death as the excuse!

Before I leave I’d like to give you a new hypothetical situation. (with this new idea)
You’ve been asked to help defend yet another village (This time it’s the village that saved you after your last failure)
Your party members are torn. Half of them think your party should help in order to do the right thing, payback those who saved you and perhaps redeem some honour.
The other half (smarter half) have pointed out that the village would be out numbered 7 to 1 and that this would be a suicide mission. Also there is a rare opportunity for you to return to your home nation and perhaps bring in some more re-enforcements for later battles.

You cant do Both, either you stay and fight and miss the boat home (Which could play a role in the next few major battles you face)

Or you go back home and leave this villagers who saved you to their doom. While also further dampening your moral and reputation not to mention personal pride.

Now considering how you failed the last mission, and how this is a game that will let you fail again. Those 7 to 1 odds look real bad (and so they should) and so you would be less likely to just “heroically” dive into the action without thinking.
At the same time these people DID save you and their tribe could really use your help. This could be your chance to be the hero you’ve painted yourself as while also acquiring the fame and prestige you desire….however, the choice is yours.

Hey! Master Yoda? Quick question....

2010-09-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hey yoda, can i talk to you for a minute? i was just doing a little thinking about the force and figured i'd ask you a few questions....

um, firstly, why do no jedi ever get married? I mean you say that forming emotional attachments with loved ones is wrong but.... surely the act of 'protecting the galaxy' is a loving act? you know...like we do it cause we care?
even if it's not, if love leads to the dark side then why do none of the sith have girlfriends? just strikes me as a little odd that's all, it's like the moment you pick up a light saber your ultimately trading in your penis...i mean i LOVE light sabers dont get me wrong but I've kinda grown attatched to the whole having a penis thing...

Ok another question um...seeing as love and i guess lust leads to the dark side, why then did you let Anakin, the young and clearly emotional jedi apprentice go to a highly romantic setting ALONE with the young and highly attractive senator amadlin just before the clone war? I mean anakin might be a jedi in training but he's also a teenager....a teenager with hormones...leaving him alone with a blatantly atttractive and powerfull woman just seems like trouble to me...he's also been known to act on emotion from time to time....oh and lets not forget he was prophesied to bring the destruction of the jedi...wouldn't it have been wiser to send a Non teenage human jedi along to protect her instead? how about the guy with tentacles on his head? or prehaps a female? I dunno just seems like an odd decision and one that a wise leader of an ancient order wouldn't make....its almost as though you just did it cause you read the script and realized Anakin somehow needs to fall in love with amadalin in order for the plot to continue...

Ok i'll leave you to your meditating now ...but uh...if anakin should just so happen to have sex with amadalin and get her pregnant and then attempt to keep the baby a secret while getting closer and closer to the chanceler who is actually a sith lord who uses anakins nightmares of amadalin dying to lure him over to the dark side until he eventualy crosses the moral event horizen by chopping off mace windu's hand and leading an assult against all the jedi in the galaxy Nazi germany style then uh...yeah, just remember who tried to warn you
*mumbles*
you green bastard...*

Fucking Zubat!!

2010-08-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

You know eventually I'l come around to making a list of the most ANNOYING video games villains of all time but i'd like to take this moment to point out one that has bugged me for many years...

FUCKING ZUBAT!

That useless cave dwelling bastard has been tripping me up since Red and Blue!
If you don't know what i'm talking about, Zubat is a Posion/flying type Pokemon who has been around since the original generation.

What makes Zubat SO unbelievably annoying are the following 3 things:

1 It's encountered in caves and usually by the time you're half way through a cave you've run out of potions and super potions meaning that healing is impossible, this in itself wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for annoyance 2...

2. You usually encounter Zubat at a simmer level as your lead Pokemon meaning that often times when you try to 'run from battle' it wont let you....that's right, this tiny pipsqueak of a pokemon has some how managed to trap you and the fire breathing salamander you travel with...the two of you are UNABLE to escape the wrath of this winged vermin. Prehaps the most annoying thing about this fact is that after a failed attempt to run away zubat gets a free turn to attack to which leads to the 3rd and most frustrating annoyance...

3. FUCKING SUPERSONIC! See despite it's prevalence and ability to somehow trap Pokemon twice it's GOD DAMN size, the most annoying thing about Zubat is that it doesn't 'actually' hurt you. see it's so weak that it's really not a major threat in anyway, however what it DOES do is perform a CHEAP and DELIBERATELY FRUSTRATING move known as supersonic which confuses your Pokemon, meaning that for 2-5 turns your own pokemon will have a 50% chance of attacking ITSELF!
Now of course as Murphy's law will dictate "when you have a 50% chance of something going wrong then it'll go wrong 90% of the time"
So you're stuck there watching your beloved Charmander hit itself for 4 consecutive turns!

And when you finally stop attacking yourself and nail that sucka with a flamethrower you can finally move on...
So you leave the battle
You take another 4 steps forward...
THEN GUESS WHAT!? It's another FUCKING ZUBAT!!!!!

And the cycle continues....
This goes out to you Zubat....you supersonic son of a bitch...

10 things Video games taught me about women...

2010-08-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

You know, often times I’m stopped on the street by one of my thousands upon thousands of admires and asked ‘how is it you are so good with the ladies chad?’

I then swiftly turn to them and reply ‘Video games my boy’ everything I learned about women I learned through Video games….
Allow me to share these 10 SUREFIRE tips to help you find the real world girl of your virtual dreams…

Lesson 1: good looks are one thing, but women like a man who can kill things, preferably with swords equal to or twice the size of their own body.

Lesson 2: If Rpg’s have taught me anything its that every attractive woman in the ~~Game~~ world will find you attractive so long as you are either

A. a bright eyed young hero who believes in the over all good of mankind
or
B. a brooding lone wolf who believes friendship is an illusion and emotions only lead to later pain(physical scars are a definite plus)

Lesson 3: Women like to be treated like the helpless damsels in distress they really are. If at any point a woman runs off with determination and attempts to do something on her own, rest assured she will later need your help to bail her out regardless of how skilled she was prior meeting you.

Lesson 4: If you ever come across a female who is un attractive, chances are she’s either evil or not important to the plot (feel free to ignore her and not exercise your dialogue options.)

Lesson 5: However, if you come across a female who IS attractive then chances are she’s either a hero or is an evil henchman who will eventually attempt to seduce you (either way it’s win-win baby!)

Lesson 6: Women love it when you stand up to their dad…

Lesson 7: The love of your life will probably be Japanese.

Lesson 8: If (hypothetically) you should ever come across an Alien species with two legs then chances are sexual relations are possible so go for it! (bonus points if she’s blue)

Lesson 9: If a woman ever seems to dislike you when you first meet…perhaps dislikes your loose morals, or finds you naive then chances are she will fall madly in love with you in approximately 8-30 hours time (so hang in there)

Lesson 10: When scouting a room full of many different women and trying to decide who to introduce yourself to. Pick the one with the most inappropriate, highly revealing, borderline slutty outfit, because chances are she’s willing to join your party.

Game Trailers: The Good, The Bad, The weird (part 3)

2010-08-29T18:37:00.000-07:00

Video Game trailers are the ‘shit!’ for us online content junkies. Id say most game enthusiasts make their decisions about what games to buy based on 4 factors.

1. Is this like anything I played before?
2. What do the reviewers say
3. How ‘cool’ does it look

Now the first two are pretty much dependant on the player and the reviewers respectively but as for the third, that’s where the developers and the marketers have to bust their asses.

Now over the past two days i'v looked at some of the Best and Worst trailers out there but today I take a look at some of the ‘weirdest’.
The ones that make you ask ‘WTF?’
See a weird trailer by definition makes you think about it, which is ultimately a good thing. So let’s take a peek at some of the strangest and most unconventional trailers around.

God Hand

This Game LIVES for what writers call ‘Big lipped alligator moments’ (BLAM for short) which are moments so random, so out of place that you cant help but laugh (think family guy humour).
This trailer works simply because you can’t help but love what you see, the random cartoon violence, the weird characters, It’s all just….well….BLAM.

Heavy Rain

On the completely different end of the spectrum this heavy rain trailer is more of a demonstration of its storytelling.
Using a fake audition as a backdrop, this trailer shows how the games writers are able to draw an emotional response out of the audience.
Voice actress Aurélie Bancilhon gives an excellent performance and helps demonstrate the tone of story telling the game is aiming for.
“Simply put, if you felt that scene you’ll feel our game.”

Catherine

They don’t come much weirder than that ladies and gentlemen. This trailer is all about style over substance. Nothing is shown or expressed about ‘actual’ gameplay much like the heavy rain trailer, however, it’s surreal tone and dynamic art style are on full display. Again this trailers appeal is very much based on you opinion of its direction ‘If you like what you see, you’ll like this game’ add to that the old adage that ‘Sex sells’ and its no wonder that this game has already garnered some buzz despite the fact we know next to nothing about it.

(Then again with the Persona series on your track record we can always expect they’ll produce something special with a capital X)

Game Trailers: The Good, The Bad, The weird (part 2)

2010-08-28T20:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a look at some of the best video game trailers to hit the Interweb over the past couple of months.
They were trailers that showed Humour, Style, creativity or were generally just Bad-Ass, now we’re going to take a look at some which are just Ass Bad (see what I did there?)
Lets start with one which I hold close to my heart….

Smackdown Vs Raw 2011

Before I go into how and why this trailer sucks allow me to say just one thing.

I used to LOVE the Smackdown games, they were far from perfect, they had their problems but I used to love them regardless (something about hitting a guy in the head with a steel chair….)

But as the iterations went on the developers at Yukes seemed to be quickly running out of ideas. Recycling most animations, adding very little and in some cases, simply removing and restricting certain features however, this is a rant for another posting.

This is about the generic nature of this trailer. Answer me this, what new features have they added this year that’s different from the last? What is it about this game that separates it from it’s ‘Combat sports’ rivals?

See, with an annualised sports game you NEED to show how the game has improved.
A game like this is played for it’s core mechanics (and in wrestling’s case also it’s story…if you can call it that)
But this trailer highlights none of those aspects. If you can’t show me why this game is better than the last then I have no real reason to go out and buy it beyond roster updates
But if roster updates are all a person needs in order to buy the game then they’re probably going to buy it regardless! So this trailer shouldn’t be aimed at them. It should be aimed at people who have never touched a Smackdown game or better yet people like ME who USED to like them but have fallen off because of a lack of innovation!

I Know I’m ranting right now but with such a generic trailer you cant help but think ‘This is a waste of time’ a waste of time for the person who made it, a waste of time for the person who uploaded, and a waste of time for the person watching it. Compare and contrast to the new “Fifa 11” trailer which even if you have no knowledge or Interest in soccer you could easily pick out the mechanics that will make that game special.

Power Gig: Rise of the six string

Jesus F Christ! You know, FORGET Batman, this guy could probably defeat the joker simply by DEPRESSING HIM TO DEATH. It’s as if he’s auditioning to be a ‘Before’ model for mood enhancers.
You see Excitement is contagious, an a distinct lack of excitement is as noticeable as a hooker in a nunnery!

Simply put, if the person behind a game can barely show any enthusiasm while TALKING about it, then chances are we aren’t going to be all that enthusiastic while playing it >.<

Compare and contrast with the developer diaries from Alpha protocol.

Dead To Rights: Retribution

Trailers like this one might have worked back in the mid 90’s but simply put ‘That shit wont fly today’. A lifeless montage of action hero moments won’t interest ANYONE today.
When you consider the acrobatic nature of Assasins Creed, The Brutality of God of War and the dramatic set pieces of Uncharted, this entire trailer comes of as down right FLAT. Did you notice how the most interesting pieces of that trailer were the dog? Because we haven’t seen an action dog like that before.

My point with this pick and perhaps this whole article is that a good trailer makes a viewer want to fill in the gaps.
when you show something we HAVENT seen before we want to know more, weather its some of the new features within the game, or some new High-concept for a story etc. however if what you show is predictable or Dull then our interest instantly disappears.

Tomorrow I take a personal look at some of the ‘Weirdest’ game trailers to hit the web and show how sometimes weird is wonderful and other times….well…other times it’s not.

Game Trailers: The Good, The Bad, The weird (part 1)

2010-08-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

The art of a video game trailer is a delicate one. Promise too much and viewers probably won’t trust what they see. Show too little and risk not impressing the viewer at all. But if you can get it ‘just right’ a video game trailer can INSTANTLY increase interest, start an online buzz and turn a would be flop into a sleeper hit.

Over the next couple of days I’ll be looking at some of the best, worst and weirdest game trailers of recent months and giving a brief breakdown of why they work (or don’t).

Today we start with the best.

Note: This isn’t about how good the game actually was/is, it’s about how good the trailer makes the game look….just thought I should mention that seeing as we all know a great trailer isn’t always attached to a great product.

Alpha Protocol:

The railer Manages to Convey the Games major dynamic and key selling point ‘options are your weapon’. This trailer could have simply taken the a page out of the “Bourne” playbook and just shown a generic hero kicking, punching, shooting and bombing his way out/into a building. Instead the trailer focused on what this game is good at “Giving player’s diverse choices in tense situations”. By highlighting the radically different options a player could “Hypothetically” have it gives us a sweet smell of what this game is cooking. Add to that some clever, Genre savvy dialogue and a clean CGI presentation and this trailer defiantly got people talking about its product….shame it wasn’t as great as it looked.

Super Street Fighter 4:

Following the success of Street Fighter 4 Capcom set to release what was ultimately an expansion pack, boasting new characters, new modes, new stages and a few balances tweaks for the pros. However with this ‘pack’ coming out just over a year after the initial release, It was gonna be a struggle to convince players who already paid full retail price to dip back into their wallets for some more of the same.

In order for this to work Capcom would NEED to show gamers that the new additions were worth it and this trailer does just that.

Using high Pace editing, Pulsing background music as well as making sure to show off the each of the characters best and most outlandish moves, this trailer is simply a lot of fun to ‘watch’ and when gameplay looks fun to watch, you’ve got a winner.

Mad Moxxi’s Underdome riot:

There isn’t really much needed to be said. It’s a funny stylish trailer which separates it from the typical testosterone filled shooters on the market.

It’s a trailer that would simply make you at least want to find out more. In a way it’s as seductive as Mad Moxxi herself, In fact maybe she wanted me to put this on my list…perhaps she’s in my head….perhaps I should stop typing my thoughts now.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Ok. Much like James Cameron’s ‘Avatar’ this trailer is generic yet excellently executed which is why it makes the list. It follows a classic Hollywood template, I.E having a character scowl as he narrates over a montage of dramatic events, HOWEVER what makes this trailer stand out where many others don’t is that what it shows is genuinely interesting in its own right.

The yellowy gold lighting filter gives the whole thing a cool look, the Blade Runner/fifth element style city looks not only gorgeous but well designed, the panic on the streets looks almost tangible and all in all you can see for yourself the environment you (the player) will be thrown into and can already kind of feel the issues that might arise. See we KNOW the game wont look that good but if that’s the tempo, the feel and the direction they’re going in then we know we like it!

Long story short it paints a world you’d like to inhabit (even if its only for a couple hours at a time) Couple that with the stylish bionic man tech, matrix inspired fight scenes and Predator style Stealth gear, this trailer instantly appeals to anyone with even a casual interest in Sci-Fi (which by the way many….or dare I say MOST gamers are.)

An honourable mention goes out to Bayonetta, Star wars the old republic (A MUST see) and the new Dragon Age 2 trailer. All of which deserve to be on the list.

Come back tomorrow for a look at the Bad and the REALLY bad video game trailers out there…

Unsung Heroes Of Video Games #3: Rival Schools (Gorin High)

2010-08-26T11:13:00.001-07:00

Rival Schools is just one of those games that we 90’s gamers all just seem to remember.
We don’t know how, we don’t know why, all we know is that we do and that it was AWESOME!

1998’s “Rival Schools” for the Playstation One was a classic example of Capcom’s outlandish character design.
Based around a small network of Japanese high schools this pseudo-legendry Fighting game managed to grab the imaginations of gamers world wide.
However, unlike the Street Fighter, Mega Man and even Bionic Commando franchises, we’ve yet to see a revival and repackaging of Rival Schools. In fact the only character to even make an appearance outside of the two games is ‘Batsu’ (Capcom Vs Tatsunoko) .

But BATSU SUCKED! At least he wasn’t the coolest. The characters who really stood out were the Bad Boy athletes from Gorin High.
Soccer prodigy “Roberto Miura” (Left) and Baseball Star “Shoma Sawamura” (Right) are prehaps the amongst the most intresting charecters in Capcoms backbench.

Much like the other charecters on My list, these two could probably populate their own game.
A sports based fighter has always been intresting (See ‘Madden Kombat’) and it’d be kinda fun seeing just what these two get up to.
Regardless These guys are two people that are just TOO COOL to be left in the Video game history books which is why they earn a place on the list.

Unsung Heroes OF Video Games #2 Knuckles The Echidna

2010-08-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

Sonic The Hedgehog died a long time ago. Sure they release a new one every couple of years and yes the handheld version usually tend to be passable but lets face the facts people! That lovable blue basted will never be the landmark in gaming he once was ever, ever, EVER again….however…

There is hope for his heavy punching side kick….
Knuckles was first introduced as a character in 1994’s “Sonic The Hedgehog” 3 for the Sega Megadrive (Genesis).
In the later release (aptly named) “Sonic and Knuckles”, Knuckles introduced an interesting new dynamic to the High speed and precision jump based Platformer.
His Ability to climb up flat surfaces using his sharpened knuckles allowed him to access certain areas that our spiky speed demon couldn’t possibly dream off, a simple mechanic with as much potential now as it did then…

The Sonic the hedgehog formula of the past clearly no longer works in 3D. It’s impossible to maintain the high octane, nosebleed inducing speed and present sufficient obstacles for a player to evade and/or destroy all while maintaining momentum.

The beauty of Knuckles is that as a character he is a more reliable avatar within the world of sonic. He’s fast but not sonic fast, his ability to glide as well as climb can create perfect a second style of challenge. Instead of simply telling the player to run from A to B asap, the player can also be asked to explore a level fully. His ability to climb gives access to vertical level design, so instead of creating a single linier track for sonic to charge down, you instead give knuckles a small sandbox for each stage, charging him to find something, get somewhere fast OR just kick a particular dudes ass.

Knuckles has also always been one of the more edgy (if you can call him that…) characters in the Sonic Universe and is a relatively recognisable (and more importantly marketable) character in his own right.
It’s not really hard to Imagine Knuckles in a Ratchet and Clank style environment…I mean his skills fit right in!
So this goes out to my main man Knuckles the coolest thing to come out of the sonic franchise since Sonic the Hedghog 2

Didn’t I save this village already?

2010-08-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

So I was playing through Crackdown 2 the other day and thinking about the mind meltingly pathetic story that had been puked up before me when my ego decided to have conversation with the rest of my brain. This is what he said.

“You know, between the countless rural villages you’ve saved, the space stations you’ve defended, the creatures you’ve beheaded and the devils you’ve made cry you’d think that god himself would be compelled to pay you a visit and say ‘well done.’ Then give you a big pat on the back like the awesome son he always wanted.”

And you know what? My ego was absolutely right. In pretty much every video game with a running fictional narrative it seems as though the entire stinking planet was at stake. It’s happened so much now that saving the world really isn’t a big deal anymore.
“No pressure (insert “hero” name here) But if you fail this mission your enemy will come closer to taking over/destroying/demonically redecorating the world!
Then again it doesn’t matter if you do fail because we’ll just pick you back up and make you try again….(notice I said ‘make you’ as opposed to ‘let you’) and even when you DO succeed the plot will be such that our villain will eventually get closer to his diabolical plan anyway until the grand finale.

You see my major gripe with video game stories isn’t the dialogue because after all that can be fixed and game writers are slowly getting better at it all the time…
It’s not characterisation and character design because we’ve seen it come a long way since the early days. The real problem is ‘Theme’

Drama has been described as ‘The art of making people worry’.
Creating a character we like, giving him/her a goal he/she wants to achieve and placing hurdles for our protagonist to overcome.

It’s a simple formula but with near infinite possibilities, why then does the games industry stick to just a few of them? Why, when asked ‘what should we make the stakes be in this game? Do writers then say ‘why the world of course!’ *cue maniacal laughter*

Of course not every game is victim to this Saturday morning cartoon philosophy. Games like the Ace attorney series present an interesting story by giving us a lovable cast of characters and focuses on a lone attorney trying to defend his innocent clients from being wrongly accused of murder. The ‘worry’ factor comes from looking at the case yourself and thinking ‘Dude even I think you’re guilty’ I mean it always looks like a pretty open and shut case from the outset and so your only hope is to hear the witness testimony and point out anything that appears inconsistent with the evidence.

To an outsider this hardly sounds like a fun game to be playing but trust me playing as the young, naive attorney beginning to understand the TRUE circumstances behind the murder and beginning to turn up the heat in the courtroom by going on the offensive, using a witnesses own testimony against them, pointing out more contradictions, presenting your own theory about who REALLY did it and then nailing the evidence to the culprit and screaming TAKE THAT! Is all part of the appeal the game draws out dramatic tension in a way no other game in the industry currently does.

Of course as a text & sprite based adventure game on a portable platform is never going to have the wide reaching triple A marketing appeal of a gears of war. However, if we’re looking at our beloved video games industry as a media only now entering maturity and as one that might even one day be considered art. Then It’s about time writers start drawing drama from some place other than the latest episode of inspector gadget.

Unsung Heroes of Video games #1: Skullomania!

2010-06-20T08:47:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure if 'video gamey' is an official phrase, but if it is then no one deserves to be called it more than Mr Skullomania.
First appearing in Akira's spin off from the street fighter series 'Street fighter EX', Skullomania is one of many mad-cap, larger than life bad asses that have sprung up under the street fighter banner.

This Japanese salesman, turned crime fighting vigilante is as awesome as any main character you could find in the games industry today. His entire demeanour screams 'heroic psychopath' and his ridiculous skin tight skeleton outfit just adds to the appeal.

If Skullomania had his own video game it would undoubtedly be as crazy as the likes of "viewtifull joe" and the lesser known 'God Hand'. Much like batman Skullomania doesn't need super powers to be a super hero, however, unlike batman it's his LACK of intelligence that seems to give him power. Running head first into Akuma (literally), diving through the air Vega or sliding across the floor into the shins of Ryu, to declare his combat style as 'unorthodox' would be a gross understatement.

Skullomania Earns his place amongst the unsung heroes for he's undeniable charm, he might not have trained under any waterfalls or studied an ancient martial art...but no amount of 'wax on-wax-off' can protect you from a psychopath in a Carnival suit.

Skullomania, we salute you